Complaining is an incredibly toxic habit that can destroy happiness. In fact, it is so distasteful that if you know a complainer, you probably thought of them as soon as you started reading this article. The complainer is one person everyone tries to avoid. But what if you are the complainer, what do you do then?
It is true that complaining is basic human nature. Our brain is wired in a way that makes it notice negative experiences more prominently. This is more of a survival mechanism. But if you start speaking of these negative experiences out loud, that is just not good for you.
The good news is that this can be altered with practice.
Here’s why complaining destroys happiness:
1. You focus only on the negative
Why is it that people complain? It is basically because they tend to focus on things that have gone wrong for them. They forget about all the things that are positive in their lives. Life is not perfect for anyone, but complainers only point out bad experiences, things that annoy them.
The fact is if you keep focusing on the negative, you as well as the people around you will start perceiving things to be worse than they actually are. Since you’re complaining constantly about how bad things are, you’re also spreading negative vibes. You will start losing hope of things getting better. How can you be happy under such circumstances?
Happiness has much to do with being content with life. There is no way you can be content if you complain so much.
2. Complaining becomes second nature
Why complaining destroys happiness? The thing with habits is that once they are formed, they are very hard to undo. If you complain too much, it is bound to become second nature to you. You’ll start perceiving everything as negative. No more giving things or people a chance. It’s impossible to be happy if you think everything is so wrong in the world. As complaining becomes a habit, so does negativity, and it’s just too hard to switch to being positive when that’s the case.
3. Confirmation Bias
One of the reasons that chronic complaining destroys happiness is confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is basic human nature. It means that if you want things to be a certain way, you will start interpreting everything you come in contact with to confirm your prejudice.
If you are a complainer, it’s because you view everything around you to be negative. The more you complain, the lesser the chance that you can see things as positive and become happy. You just become predisposed to viewing everything as negative.
4. Relationships suffer
To be truly happy, everyone relies on relationships with other likeminded people. Man is social, so it’s hardly a surprise that people who have healthy relationships are happy. But why complaining destroys happiness by destroying relationships?
It’s quite simple really. If you’re a complainer, positive people are bound to stay away from you. It’s just too much for most to listen to you complaining on and on about every little thing. You may find friends in other negative people, but these relationships just won’t last.
5. Complaining affects your quality of life
What is complaining? It is the vocal embodiment of your negativity and pessimism. Negativity and pessimism are not good for you. They are not good for the mind or the body or your social lives. Negativity is one of the chief sources of stress and stress related health issues. If you are a complainer, everything in your social life also suffers, from your job to your friendships.
Complaining is not good for you. There are no two ways about it. It is unpleasant for anyone who listens to it; it is unpleasant for you and it adversely affects happiness.
